and gnarly
A stricken tree, a living thing, so beautiful, so dignified, so admirable in its potential longevity, is, next to man, perhaps the most touching of wounded objects…I met with some people today about putting together an exhibit to commemorate 30 years of HIV in Colorado. Actually, I am not sure why I was there. I can only imagine that it is because I have managed to get a couple of things done over the last couple of years. But I really haven’t been involved in the HIV community for any more than the last 5. Before that, I didn’t really bother with much about the “community” as I didn’t understand fully that in Colorado that “community” is separate from the larger “LGBTQ” community. I always thought they were symbiotic.
But now I understand that they are separate entities. The LGBT community here doesn’t necessarily want to take ownership of the other. Initially, I believe things were different, but perhaps with the onset of Anti-Retroviral Therapies, the drift began to happen. people were tired and wanted to heal from the hardship.
so there i sat today at lunch with a couple of others having to accept what a curmudgeon i have become. as one pontificated on and on as he always does, my serenity drained like a balloon with a pinhole. i am interested in developing a piece of education that may inform others, empower others, or may wake old passions, but i am not sure i am interested in sitting through the process that must exist in order to produce it.
although i fully support a memorial, maybe, i am not prepared to “unpack” all those old boxes. i’m becoming a gnarly, prickly, old man. it is happening sooner than i was ready for
