Autumn Brings Inspiration

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Portrait of John Talbot, later 1st Earl Talbot; Pompeo Batoni, Italian (Lucchese), 1708 - 1787; Italy, Europe; 1773; Oil on canvas; Unframed: 274.3 x 182.2 cm (108 x 71 3/4 in.), Framed: 301 x 209.9 x 10.8 cm (118 1/2 x 82 5/8 x 4 1/4 in.); 78.PA.211
Portrait of John Talbot, later 1st Earl Talbot; Pompeo Batoni, Italian (Lucchese), 1708 – 1787; Italy, Europe; 1773; Oil on canvas; Unframed: 274.3 x 182.2 cm (108 x 71 3/4 in.), Framed: 301 x 209.9 x 10.8 cm (118 1/2 x 82 5/8 x 4 1/4 in.); 78.PA.211


Over hill, over dale,
Thorough bush, thorough brier,
Over park, over pale,
Thorough flood, thorough fire!
I do wander everywhere,
Swifter than the moon’s sphere;
And I serve the Fairy Queen,
To dew her orbs upon the green;
The cowslips tall her pensioners be;
In their gold coats spots you see;
Those be rubies, fairy favours;
In those freckles live their savours;
I must go seek some dewdrops here,
And hang a pearl in every cowslip’s ear.
William Shakespeare

autumn has sailed in this year like a luxury yacht. I have been afloat all season and barely knew we were moving. Pumpkins, harvest, fall, golden, changing, pumpkins, squash, sweaters, corduroy. Along with these returning symbols of my life, I am reminded also by my nature that the 3rd quarter shift every year signals internal reminders of this cycle of life. I make changes at this time of year. I’d like to frame it as “I grow every year”

there is a part of me that is so driven by impulse I can rarely notice when I genuflect via autopilot. I leap and then I reflect. It seems others ponder before they make a move. I can’t imagine what that’s like. To make it stickier, I judge my nature as immature and spend a good deal of time feeling badly about how I am. I forget that I do not endure hypocracy and toxicity for very long as my more mature counterparts do.

This song played on my apple shuffle the other day and I swooned. Paolo remains a source of inspiration for me.


Autumn leaves under frozen souls,
Hungry hands turning soft and old,
My hero cried as we stood out there in the cold,
Like these autumn leaves I don’t have nothing to hold.

Handsome smile, wearing handsome shoes,
Too young to say, though I swear he knew,
And I hear him singing while he sits there in his chair,
While these autumn leaves float around everywhere.

And I look at you, and I see me,
Making noise so restlessly,
But now it’s quiet and I can hear you saying,
‘My little fish don’t cry, my little fish don’t cry.’

Autumn leaves have faded now,
That smile I lost, well I’ve found somehow,
Because you still live on in my father’s eyes,
These autumn leaves, all these autumn leaves, all these autumn leaves are yours tonight.

Arty Farty Friday

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Arty Farty Friday Brian Gysin  William S Burroughs
Arty Farty Friday
Brian Gysin
William S Burroughs




The cut-up and the closely associated fold-in are the two main techniques:

Cut-up is performed by taking a finished and fully linear text and cutting it in pieces with a few or single words on each piece. The resulting pieces are then rearranged into a new text, such as in poems by Tristan Tzara as described in his short text, TO MAKE A DADAIST POEM.[1]
Fold-in is the technique of taking two sheets of linear text (with the same linespacing), folding each sheet in half vertically and combining with the other, then reading across the resulting page, such as in The Third Mind. It is Burroughs and Gysin’s joint development.[2]
History in literature Edit

A precedent of the technique occurred during a Dadaist rally in the 1920s in which Tristan Tzara offered to create a poem on the spot by pulling words at random from a hat. Collage, which was popularized roughly contemporaneously with the Surrealist movement, sometimes incorporated texts such as newspapers or brochures. Prior to this event, the technique had been published in an issue of 391 in the poem by Tzara, dada manifesto on feeble love and bitter love under the sub-title, TO MAKE A DADAIST POEM.[3][1]

William Burroughs cited T. S. Eliot’s poem, The Waste Land (1922) and John Dos Passos’ U.S.A. trilogy, which incorporated newspaper clippings, as early examples of the cut ups he popularized.

Gil J. Wolman developed cut-up techniques as part of his lettrist practice in the early 1950s.

Also in the 1950s, painter and writer Brion Gysin more fully developed the cut-up method after accidentally re-discovering it. He had placed layers of newspapers as a mat to protect a tabletop from being scratched while he cut papers with a razor blade. Upon cutting through the newspapers, Gysin noticed that the sliced layers offered interesting juxtapositions of text and image. He began deliberately cutting newspaper articles into sections, which he randomly rearranged. The book Minutes to Go resulted from his initial cut-up experiment: unedited and unchanged cut-ups which emerged as coherent and meaningful prose. South African poet Sinclair Beiles also used this technique and co-authored Minutes To Go.

Gysin introduced Burroughs to the technique at the Beat Hotel. The pair later applied the technique to printed media and audio recordings in an effort to decode the material’s implicit content, hypothesizing that such a technique could be used to discover the true meaning of a given text. Burroughs also suggested cut-ups may be effective as a form of divination saying, “When you cut into the present the future leaks out.”[4] Burroughs also further developed the “fold-in” technique. In 1977, Burroughs and Gysin published The Third Mind, a collection of cut-up writings and essays on the form. Jeff Nuttall’s publication My Own Mag was another important outlet for the then-radical technique.

In an interview, Alan Burns noted that for Europe After The Rain (1965) and subsequent novels he used a version of cut-ups: “I did not actually use scissors, but I folded pages, read across columns, and so on, discovering for myself many of the techniques Burroughs and Gysin describe”


sunday kind of love………. matt butler

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my friend Allison Harden turned me on to Matt Butler via a song used in the revolutionary film “generation found”

he kindly let us use his song “just one”  during our “surrounded by recovery” event. Since that time I have come to respect his music and lyrics, as well as his sense of propriety.

i have included selections from Matt’s new album “Relentless”- please consider buying a copy and supporting his efforts and his philanthropy.






A dozen really does feel good

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“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”
― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

It is really hard to believe that I have been fortunate enough to have lived 12 years substance free. It definitely the most sober time I’ve ever had. My emotional sobriety has grown the most in the last 5 or so years and I have become a much better citizen, friend, and neighbor.

this is due especially because I had a mentor who reassured me often that  god does not create junk and therefore I had worth. With that support, my ability to see beyond my own limitations to find hope and courage to just be ok. Today I’m thrilled with ok. It requires much less stress.

My mentor Paul passed away a few years back. Still today I miss him and can feel the support from the infrastructure he helped me build. My post today is strictly gratitude for all my mentors and teachers. Without you I am nothing. Thank you universe for the invitation to taste so much in this life. I will do my best to

Sticky Sweet

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life has shifted gears so quickly and silently I hardly noticed. I helped produce a community event with the intention of creating some collaboration within the recovery community. I became ensconced in the process of planning. Intoxicated really. And it was a hella ride. Now I find myself dripping with the sweet sticky leftover of some hard work and inspiration.

The action of “Surrounded” changed my mental state. I didn’t know I wasn’t breathing. Not until I was breathing again.

Something old, something new, something borrowed……

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Speaking for those who no longer have a voice...
Speaking for those who no longer have a voice..


we have been diligently planning an event called Surrounded by Recovery 2016 which takes place Saturday September 17 a the Colorado State Capitol. It has evolved into a celebration of recovery and a call to action for the recovery community, the treatment providers, the legal system, our family and friends, and ourselves that the out of orbit escalation of overdose deaths and addiction related deaths need to be addressed. It can’t wait. No one will come along and do it for us.

I came across a notice for an event in Seattle honoring international overdose awareness day which asks for old shoes to be used to represent the 300 lives lost to overdose in Washington state the previous year. My heart opened as I read the ad. I knew this would be a powerful image to place upon the steps of our Capitol and impact our attendees to enough hopefully to get more involved.

The CARA bill falls short in many areas due to the fear, bias and stigma many have about treating addiction. If we are serious about addressing the opioid epidemic, we will eliminate barriers to effective recovery treatment and treat the addicted brain the same way we treat any other organ in the body – with medication that has been scientifically proven to work. We will provide access to recovery support including groups, mentors, recovery coaching, and long term recovery.

Surrounded by Recovery 2016
September 17 Colorado State Capitol



thanks to Tony Radovich yet again for flooding me with inspiration and awe. Thanks also to all the Coloradans who have agreed to join the Surrounded efforts. There may never have been a greater need to make a change in the way we do business than right now.

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sunday kind of love…….. todd rundgren

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i  have been posting music for as long as I’ve been blogging. 2006 was the year of my first post. I was really just investigating the medium. i was 2 years into my recovery and needed something more. In the process I met a circle of like minded individuals across the continent and further who enhanced my support network and helped alleviate greatly the anxiety that my early recovery heralded.

Along with the beautiful addition of online support, the evolution of my 10 year journey with blogging has cemented my lifelong love and reliance upon music. This continues to this day. Today’s offering….. Todd Rundgren. His name music will speak for itself.-




here’s what’s hatching

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birds palo


there has been a buzz in my bonnet over this last week.  my training organization has hatched some plans for building a new nest to keep our family growing and to grow recovery within our community.

peer coach academy colorado is beginning a collaboration with agami health services. we will begin a recovery support group at their aurora location and facilitate a group for 2 hours a week. the group is being called “varsity” and is designed to be a team approach to recovery support. the roster will consist of team members, recovery coaches, and recovery alumni all providing playbooks, strategy, and experience to the rookies and interns.

the application for 501c3 status has actually begun. we have a brainstorm session scheduled which should help us distill the mission, the board, the initial budgeting, policies and procedures,  and business plan. we are resurrecting and blending another organization and it’s mission into ours which will add educating, raising awareness, and building capacity to the concept that  recovery is evidence-based and our community will be improved if it is integrated into our collective goals and treatment plans. we need treatment certainly, but we need more desperately recovery principles. this is the next big task and hold the promise of new life for pca.

to round out the new babies in the pca  flock, agami  and pca have submitted a response to a request for quote for a project with a legal arm of a county level colorado justice legal program which could provide a small revenue stream and a larger picture opportunity to develop relationship within the treatment/justice system to educate about recovery principles.

I am crowing a little here certainly. hopefully I am also releasing an affirmation into the universe and hopefully beginning construction on a new nest for pca. maybe-just maybe- for colorado too.  a guy can dream, can’t he

I love returning to a 90’s version of that nelly Furtado classic “i’m like a bird”. but I really really love the junior vasquez remix from twilo. I love the haunting slo-mo bassline and the tenderness of nelly’s vocals as they flit on and off that bassline like a bird on a wire.

You’re beautiful and that’s for sure
You’ll never ever fade
Your lovely, but it’s not for sure
And I won’t ever change
And though my love is rare
And though my love is true







Peer Coach Academy 2016 Catalog

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birds on a wire

PCA Colorado is collaborating with Agami Health Services to produce several trainings this year. The first will be Four Fridays in July from 2p-10p. Participants will complete 32 hours of CCAR Recovery Coach Training on July 8, 15, 22, 29.

Contact for further information or to reserve a space. Become part of a growing network of recovery coaches and peer mentors in Colorado.

undisclosed desires

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On Gratitude:
Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.

it has been a hella couple of months. i had no idea that my nature was so easy to track and my muse so omnipresent. life has felt so alive with inspiration and opportunity since i made a change in my full time gig. i knew i was unhappy, but i didn’t realize how stifled i had been feeling. each day since then seems to have brought new discovery, new beings, new collaborations, and a promise of some better days.

the next coach training is almost here. i think there might be enough requests to do another. we are presenting for a training contract next week as well. we will be starting a recover group in aurora on thursday nights and may look at another night in lakewood-both located conveniently in treatment oriented buildings that lend themselves to collaboration.

i am also looking toward pride right now. my friend mark has agreed to try to resurrect “surrounded by recovery” as a community building, consciousness raising, team building event this time during pride. the idea is to gather enough folks to hold hands and encircle the capital to raise awareness of the growing epidemic of deaths by overdose, the shortage of treatment availability, and that recovery is an option that has positive outcomes and often gets overlooked. here’s a glimpse of what use to happen and what we hope will happen again.

it has seemed almost like my ship was sinking and i have been rescued by a friendly fishing crew. i am reacquainting with fun at the workplace, and with not feeling constant financial pressure. it remains to be seen if i have learned what i need.

there are 2 more curricula to add to our course selections for this year: ccar introduced me to another training organization (mt) who have opened up my mind and eyes to possibilities.

1)Self-Care for Recovery Coaches & CRPA in a two day, retreat style format. Specifically for those who utilize peer support principles this workshop offers a parallel process of introspection and professional development. Participants are challenged to evolve their own self-care plan while developing the sensitivities to a recoveree’s unique pathway dynamics. Participants emerge from this two day workshop with a keen understanding of the role authenticity contributes to their role of recovery coaches as well as their personal well-being.

2)Recovery Coaching for All – Families, Friends & Colleagues,based on the original RCA, acknowledges and explores the experience of “everyone else” who either lives or works with an addict or recoveree. This new 30-hour curriculum (chronological or modular delivery available) is designed for people who wish to provide coaching support to all those affected by the addiction and/or recovery of another – first-tier family members, friends, partners, colleagues, employers, etc.  Coaches are trained to help people identify, manage and meet their own recovery wellness goals independent of the addict/recoveree.
Topics include:

  • Distinguish between addict/addiction
  • Define and increase fluency in the language of recovery
  • Delineate the roles and tools of a recovery coach
  • Articulate the problems, pitfalls and potential of recovery
  • Recognize and understand RECOVERY CAPITAL
  • Build capacity to perform in a recovery coach role
  • Discover and develop an authentic voice of recovery
  • Describe how relationships impact recovery coaching
  • Understand ethical context for recovery coaching
  • Practice newly acquired skills

Specific skill sets – professional boundaries, recovery wellness planning, self-disclosure, stages of change/recovery, active listening, motivational interviewing, cultural competence, systems of care, multiple pathways, advocacy

oh yeah- have i shared with you my hopes for Bhaven? ask me if you would like to know more.