pema chodron

did i dream i dreamed about you

Posted on Updated on

Did I dream you dreamed about me? Were you hare when I was fox? Now my foolish boat is leaning Broken lovelorn on your rocks For you sing 'Touch me not, touch me not image: http://static.urx.io/units/web/urx-unit-loader.gif Come back tomorrow Oh, my heart, oh, my heart Shies from the sorrow' ..... tim buckley
Did I dream you dreamed about me?
Were you hare when I was fox?
Now my foolish boat is leaning
Broken lovelorn on your rocks
For you sing
‘Touch me not, touch me not
Come back tomorrow
Oh, my heart, oh, my heart
Shies from the sorrow’
….. tim buckley

funny- i purchased a copy of “living beautifully” by pema chodron and once again while breathing in her perspective, i felt a slight shift of insight, as if a thin veil had been pulled away. my experience with pema’s writing is that she is a lyricist for the soundtrack of my life. although i run and i hide, the truth in her soothsayer tellings that rings with clarity that it may very well be time to wake up.

As human beings we share a tendency to scramble for certainty whenever we realize that everything around us is in flux. In difficult times the stress of trying to find solid ground�something predictable and safe to stand on�seems to intensify. But in truth, the very nature of our existence is forever in flux. Everything keeps changing, whether we�re aware of it or not.

What a predicament! We seem doomed to suffer simply because we have a deep-seated fear of how things really are. Our attempts to find lasting pleasure, lasting security, are at odds with the fact that we�re part of a dynamic system in which everything and everyone is in process.

So this is where we find ourselves: right in the middle of a dilemma. And it leaves us with some provocative questions: How can we live wholeheartedly in the face of impermanence, knowing that one day we�re going to die? What is it like to realize we can never completely and finally get it all together? Is it possible to increase our tolerance for instability and change? How can we make friends with unpredictability and uncertainty�and embrace them as vehicles to transform our lives?

The Buddha called impermanence one of the three distinguishing marks of our existence, an incontrovertible fact of life. But it�s something we seem to resist pretty strongly. We think that if only we did this or didn�t do that, somehow we could achieve a secure, dependable, controllable life. How disappointed we are when things don�t work out quite the way we planned.

Not long ago, I read an interview with the war correspondent Chris Hedges in which he used a phrase that seemed like a perfect description of our situation: �the moral ambiguity of human existence.� This refers, I think, to an essential choice that confronts us all: whether to cling to the false security of our fixed ideas and tribal views, even though they bring us only momentary satisfaction, or to overcome our fear and make the leap to living an authentic life. That phrase, �the moral ambiguity of human existence,� resonated strongly with me because it�s what I�ve been exploring for years: How can we relax and have a genuine, passionate relationship with the fundamental uncertainty, the groundlessness of being human?

My first teacher, Ch�gyamTrungpa, used to talk about the fundamental anxiety of being human. This anxiety or queasiness in the face of impermanence isn�t something that afflicts just a few of us; it�s an all-pervasive state that human beings share. But rather than being disheartened by the ambiguity, the uncertainty of life, what if we accepted it and relaxed into it? What if we said, �Yes, this is the way it is; this is what it means to be human,� and decided to sit down and enjoy the ride?

a brush stroke

Posted on

“We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don't like about our associates or our society.  It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others....Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.”  ― Pema Chödrön
“We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who’s right and who’s wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don’t like about our associates or our society.
It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others….Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.”
― Pema Chödrön

 

once in a while i become aware that the flow of life is really happening without my input. the sun rises, the sun travels across the sky, and the sun recedes from the sky and not once have i been consulted or my opinion sought out.

the thought of this used to frighten me immensely, but now it’s a reality that gives me comfort. it connects me to the knowledge that i am only a part of the painting that is life not the painting itself.

 

it’s such a big relief to not be in charge.

remain in light

Posted on

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack  And you may find yourself in another part of the world  And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile  And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife  And you may ask yourself  Well...How did I get here?  Letting the days go by Let the water hold me down  Letting the days go by Water flowing underground  Into the blue again After the money's gone  Once in a lifetime Water flowing underground  And you may ask yourself  How do I work this?  And you may ask yourself  Where is that large automobile?  And you may tell yourself  This is not my beautiful house  And you may tell yourself  This is not my beautiful wife  Letting the days go by Let the water hold me down  Letting the days go by Water flowing underground  Into the blue again After the money's gone  Once in a lifetime Water flowing underground ..... talking heads
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself
Well…How did I get here?
Letting the days go by
Let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
Water flowing underground
Into the blue again
After the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime
Water flowing underground
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife
Letting the days go by
Let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
Water flowing underground
Into the blue again
After the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime
Water flowing underground ….. talking heads

 

happenstances come and go. encounters made and encounters fade. dreams appear and just as quickly some drift off. water keeps flowing underground and i try to keep on moving forward.

i met an extraordinary group of regular people this week in fairfield county connecticut. they underlined everything i believe about life and the journey that has chosen me. i certainly feel enriched and changed by this. but i also hope that my heart has opened because more than anything else i can identify, my heart is in the most dire need of support right now.

it occurred to me while i sat in a room full of these beautiful strangers that i am in the midst of a gargantuan shift. i have removed myself from the safe track i was on and placed myself in the unknown. i don’t know what is directly ahead for me. i have no idea what happens next week, tomorrow, or even later today.  and though i have faith in my process and i try to have faith in my own life, i am nudged repeatedly by events that test that faith. i was unable to focus enough when leaving for here to make my flight on time. i wrestled with the idea of continuing or stopping the journey while i waited with anticipation at the airport. i flew through a hellish thunderstorm to get her only to land hundreds of miles away and again had to modify my ground arrangements. my luggage (containing my sense of self) did not arrive until the night before the last day, causing me to create a new sense of me to present to my colleagues. i have felt a little more exposed and vulnerable and i have worked through feeling victimized.

i felt all these things and i have had to work at letting these feelings go. and in the process i shut down sometimes and got triggered sometimes and became impatient and fearful. this caused me to recoil and be less open. and this caused me hurt and brought shame back into view.

i have a clearer understanding how remaining open (my heart and mind) and letting go of unnecessary baggage are the lessons i take away from my training at ccar. this agenda is ongoing but has been highlighted by the circumstances of the week. somehow i drift into thinking that safety and planning will save me from myself, but they keep me from myself instead.

i am sad that it took me travelling all this way to understand more deeply how i need to look inward, but i am grateful too. with myself and with others i need to exercise empathy more, support self-efficacy of those in my life and myself, roll with resistance and develop discrepancy. i need to use all motivational interviewing  skills i already understand (and presented as part of my training) to bring myself closer to the world and not back away from it so easily or so often. what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

remember that this is not something we do just once or twice. Interrupting our destructive habits and awakening our heart is the work of a lifetime….. pema chodron

easy thing to do

Posted on Updated on

“If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart...”  ― Pema Chödrön, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living
“If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart…”
― Pema Chödrön, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living

Sentimental people see the world

With the gentleness of fools

Wishful thinking makes the days go by

Every minute is a lullaby

It’s the Easy Thing To Do

It’s the Easy Thing To Do

And the Easy Thing To Do

Is love

Tender people still believe in love

Broken promises are few

Only hearing what they want to hear

Twisting words to make them sound sincere

It’s the Easy Thing To Do

It’s the Easy Thing To Do

And the Easy Thing To Do

Is love

And the world would be a better place

If it’s people didn’t have to lie

For the lier

Is a lier

And only fools himself

If the man could only see himself

As the younger man that grew

Love could find a place and no mistake

Wiser man and he had learned to late

It’s the Easy Thing To Do

It’s the Easy Thing To Do

And the Easy Thing To Do

Is love 

And the world would be a better place

If it’s people didn’t have to lie

For the liar

Is a liar

And only fools himself

If the man could only see himself

As the younger man that grew

Love could find a place and no mistake

Wiser man and he had learned to late

It’s the Easy Thing To Do

It’s the Easy Thing To Do

And the Easy Thing To Do

  • Is love

 

 

 

pieces of colored glass

Link Posted on Updated on

bird in cup

We are like children building a sand castle. We embellish it with beautiful shells, bits of driftwood, and pieces of colored glass. The castle is ours, off limits to others. We’re willing to attack if others threaten to hurt it. Yet despite all our attachment, we know that the tide will inevitably come in and sweep the sand castle away. The trick is to enjoy it fully but without clinging, and when the time comes, let it dissolve back into the sea.
~ Pema Chodron
starting my work week this morning- ran across the latest offering from oxd mirror. found it no less interesting than so many others from the same crew. these tracks are not the ones i hear everywhere-no they have a unique quality that reminds me that our culture is vast and varied. and they remind me why i fell in love with dance music in the first place. please give a listen to sam smith – money on my mind- it takes me back to a time when i was young and naive- dancing at le pub chicago– and felt i had the world in my hand and nothing but time. that is a feeling that everyone should experience.
you can read a bit more about chicago gay bar history here.  oh yeah- and the sweet image at the top of this post is painted glass by jess vogel from art and salvage gallery in salida colorado- one of my favorite little towns in america.

occupy the disco

the latest compilation for oxd mirror- 2-6-2014

keep you warm

Posted on Updated on

Image

“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.”